Thursday, June 27, 2013
Another reason is the feedback I get from people around me. It's amazing what happens when you share your own difficulties. People come out of the woodwork with similar stories. Often people you would never expect. I find this particularly beneficial in two ways. First, when I'm in the thick of the issue it's so helpful to talk to people who have been through it already. They provide perspective, insight, tips, support, encouragement and they make me feel so much less alone. On the other side, when I talk about past problems and hear from people who are currently going through a similar situation, I can be the one providing all of the above. I remember once being at a specialist appointment (have had so many, can't remember which one) and I was going over my medical history and medications with the nurse prior to seeing the doctor. She questioned one of my medications and I told her all about it. She suddenly blurted out "Oh my god! I have the same problem! I didn't know anything could be done about it?!?" We ended up talking for like 20 minutes while I filled her in completely and she intended to make an appointment with her own doctor to discuss it.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
When I'm having troubles, which I'm currently in the thick of, it would be wonderful to be able to ask someone all knowing and all powerful for help. Someone who loves me and can make everything all better.
When it comes right down to it, even if you could prove to me that this sky-daddy existed, there's no way I could even consider praising him.
If your god in all his wonder exists AND this still exists:
So through my troubles, instead of the invisible man in the sky, I will turn to my husband and friends and doctors and therapists and medicine. I will turn to reality. I will even turn to my dogs who give me unconditional love and affection.
Given my luck, if I did have a guardian angel she would most likely be weeping and trying to kill me.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
The last straw was the morning that I stood in the shower, crying and staring at the blade of my pink lady razor. I was watching how the light reflected off it and wondering how much it would hurt to slice into my wrists. It was in that moment that I truly snapped myself out of it. It was like my own stupidity had slapped me right across the face. That was the moment that I did understand that I was worth more than that. In that moment I became strong and confident. In that moment I became me and I never looked back.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
The Telegraph - Like it or not, we need to break the pubic hair taboo
This article annoyed me so much that I had to take to the blog!
The article is all about women's pubic hair and the reasons why some women choose to remove or 'tame' it, that some men prefer that and pretty much that all women should stop.....wait....what??? I was with them until that point.
Apparently porn is the cause for women choosing to lose 'the bush' because all men watch porn and all men agree that 'the bush' is disgusting and that makes all women have low self-esteem so they torture themselves in order to be submissive to these horrible porn watching men.
First off - I am a porn watching woman. Within the plethora of porn available there are women of all shapes, sizes, body types and an especially large variety of bush styles. Some are wild, some are tamed, some are barely there and some are non-existent. The one thing porn is not is consistently anything.
Porn has opened my mind to a variety of things. Some things I've tried, some things I am considering and some things where I have immediately said 'absolutely not!' and moved on. This isn't just contained to the sexual acts themselves. It also includes costumes, surgical alterations, piercings and yes pubic hair styling.
My second problem with the article was the suggestion that pubic hair removal is bad for us because of another article suggesting that it may increase the transmission of a certain type of wart. It refers to these warts as STIs (sexually transmitted infection). I think this is a misnomer. If you read the other article it clearly states that these warts are very common in children. This suggests that it isn't so much a 'sexually' transmitted infection so much as it probably just requires skin to skin contact which happens to occur during sex and is more likely to occur in skin which has been 'traumatized'. So if I shave or wax my legs (with which the author seems to have no issue), then I would probably be just as likely to get these warts.
My next problem is this:
"Several MPs declined the opportunity to comment on the politics of female body hair for this article, with one saying they did not want to become a “pubes pundit”."
Well I should hope not! It's none of their damn business!! Is this group actually looking for a governmental stance on pubic hair????
"She points to John Carr of the Council on Child Internet Safety’s suggestion that households should have to opt-in to viewing pornography online"
What??? First, can we say censorship? Two, one person's pornography is another person's art. Three, I shouldn't have to go out of my way to contact some 'agency' to let them know that I would like to look at porn. Will I have to tell them which genres I'd like to be available to me as well?
"Whatever one thinks about porn - and whether an opt-in system is feasible - Object's Bennett points out that it has had an unmistakable impact on young women’s self esteem."
I can agree with that. Everything in life has an unmistakable impact on self esteem, but not necessarily a negative impact. For me, porn removed all the taboos that I had placed on sex and from that point on I blossomed. I became more open and confident and strong. And part of that was knowing that I could make my own choices about my body.
"As for me? When someone recently asked me what I think the biggest challenge is for young women today my on-the-spot answer wasn't about equality in the workplace or combating misogyny, but what do to with their pubes."
At this point I actually decided that the author was, in fact, a lunatic!
And the closing paragraph:
"Angst about pubic hair comes down to one thing; women changing themselves because of what they believe is expected of them sexually instead of what they want (ask any 24-year-old on their way to a bikini wax if it's how they really want to spend 20 minutes and see what they say). That's the thing about sex and your body it took me a while to realise – you're actually supposed to enjoy them."
I change all sorts of things about my appearance. Yesterday I got a hair cut and I dyed my hair red. I wear high heels and short skirts and low cut tops. I do this all not because society expects it of me, but because I like it.
And of course people don't enjoy the waxing experience (well some might), what they do enjoy is the weeks after where their body is the way they want it to be. Having foils in my hair was not how I wanted to spend a sunny Saturday afternoon either, but I'll now have fun with my hair for the next 2 months.
I encourage everyone - all genders - to do whatever they want with their bodies, but it pisses me off when someone else tries to tell anyone that they're doing it wrong simply because they would do it differently or they question their motives. If you want to turn your pubic hair into dreadlocks that hang down to your knees...more power to you. But do not ever tell me that I am wrong or have low self esteem because I would prefer that mine just disappear.