Monday, July 29, 2013

Mosquitoes are Assholes

Thesis:  Mosquitoes are assholes!* 

Evidence:  The multiple mosquito bites on my elbow

Argument the First!: The skin on my elbow is probably the toughest skin on my body (with the exception of my heels with haven't seen a pedicure since that time the lady at the spa sliced me with her foot file - nice job pedicure lady!)  Because it's so tough it must make for difficult stabbing with their proboscis (thank you Google).  This means they're putting extra effort in to biting me there.

Argument the Second!:  Once you get through that tough skin, there's pretty much just bone there.  It must be like trying to suck water out of the sand of the Sahara.  This means that not only are they putting forth extra effort, but they're not getting as much food reward.

Argument the Third!:  It's itchy as hell!  Far itchier than any other bite I've gotten this year!  Driving me F'n crazy itchy!  Want to take a metal brush to my elbow itchy!  This MUST be their reward.

Conclusion:  Mosquitoes are definitely assholes!

Wait a minute....the itchiness has gotten my mind off the other crap going on in my head... could it be that the mosquitoes were trying to help me out using the art of distraction???....ummmm.....NO!

Conclusion (amended):  Mosquitoes are definitely manipulative assholes!!


  * I've been reading a lot of The Bloggess lately and you have no idea how much I wanted to put a "y'all" at the end of that sentence.  She's awesome by the way.  You should check her out.

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